Get me through this family dinner without the usual scene.

A pocket plan for a tense gathering: likely flashpoints, a line for each, and a way to step out.


When to use
A few days before a holiday, wedding or reunion you’re half dreading.
Time
10 min

The prompt

I have coming up, and I’m dreading . What I want from the day is . Ask me up to four questions, one at a time, about who will be there and how it usually unfolds. Then give me a plan I can keep on my phone: the three most likely flashpoints, one calm sentence for each, a polite way to step out for ten minutes, and one thing to look forward to. For the person I find hardest, add your best guess at what the day is like for them, labeled as a guess. If I usually help set off any of this, tell me how. Don’t diagnose anyone.

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